So I recently met up with a Sub friend for the first time, after corresponding for a long time via email but not had met until recently.
I would say that he is an experienced Sub and has engaged in activities that some could regard as quite extreme. He is very well a strong, intelligent, professional man. I respect him professionally and personally. We met up for lunch. It was lovely to meet him finally and to put a face to all the thoughts we had exchanged over the emails, to get a feel for that real personality rather than that projected by the written word which just seems superficial. The demeanour, the tone of voice. We had talked openly and honestly about so many things. Most of the things we talked about was unconnected to bdsm or Master D/s. However, we did talk a little of Master D/s.
I took interest when he talked negatively and disparagingly of Doms who felt it inappropriate to show their emotions, as if this was somehow some kind of weakness that conflicted with their Master "Dom" image. Uh, is this inability to show emotion not actually itself a sign of weakness? He was also critical of Master Doms who had no interest in the pleasure of their Sub - ones who said the Sub should gain all his satisfaction from knowing that his Dom was gaining pleasure. He was clearly very unimpressed by such Master Doms and found this unacceptable even in a play setting.
I was quite struck by how much this coincided with my own views about the need for openness, honesty and mutual respect and care.
